so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
