i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
