Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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