you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
