All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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