90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize