When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
