And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
