It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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