You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
