hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Two words: blizzard sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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