so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
