He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize