U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
