dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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