how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Drunk is not a location!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
