I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
