Pappa wants mamma naked
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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