This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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