what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
