This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
