Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
