Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
