If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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