when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
