He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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