I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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