he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize