She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
