I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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