i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
