how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
