It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
