I cockslap morals
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just found puke in my bra..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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