I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
