3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
