okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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