That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this will be a night to untag.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
