chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
