I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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