I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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