Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
