So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
