It's like God shit irony all over that family
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
