Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
