How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you would pick up someone in the library
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
