If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
