ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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