mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
