it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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