You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
