Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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