its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
