we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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