Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
