I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
