Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
