Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
