You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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