Don't you send me to vm
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize