If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm really busy with my period
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