When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
All I want is dick and wine.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
