Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I could make wine with my vomit
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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