i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
