Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
