remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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