He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
