So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
