Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize